Sneaky Bitch

A woman I work with lives in "boyfriend's" building. Whenever I run into her and her family more often than not I'm shit-faced. Yep. Drunk off my ass. And when I've been drinking, I usually get pizza. So of course, I try to avoid them when this is the case. Sometimes I'll walk slowly so that they get on the elevator first, which seems to work most of the time...

However, this past Friday after only 4 beers, I was pretty off the rocker. I took a cab from the bar and was instantly on a mission. For pizza, as usual. As I'm walking to "boyfriend's" place, pizza box in hand, I see co-worker and her entire family. Nice husband, cute little boy, newborn baby girl. All together now..."awwwww." So I do my usual "walk slow" thing, but they are walking ridiculously slowly this time. I'd have to stop dead in my drunk tracks to not catch up to them. So I decide to cross the street and take a lap around the block. When I get to the front of the building, they are sitting outside. Eff!

Drunk kimmyk decides she will NOT be defeated! So I cross the street AGAIN and sit in the entrance of another building for minute and attempt to make a phone call. I try about 5 people, and no one answers! Now, not only is drunk kimmyk drunk, but she also has a complex. Pfff!

Since it looks like they're getting comfortable outside and I can't stay there all night (I need pizza asap), I decide to try and sneak by them! Mind you, in my head at the time, this sounded like an effing brilliant idea!

So I start walking fast. Yes, almost there! Then I hear, "Kim! Kim!" Can I ignore it? Dir, no! So I end up talking to co-worker and family, trying not to look them in the eye or breathe on them. She wanted me to see the baby, and normally I would've been all over it, but this time I probably would've dropped her, or my breath would've made her cry.

Chances are they didn't even notice, it's not like I was falling over or anything. But, note to self, next time wait across the street for as long as it takes and stop trying to be such a sneaky bitch!