Twin Bitches

'Boyfriend' and I spent 4th of July weekend down in Dirty Jerz at the shore. Actually Spring Lake is far from dirty, but I like the way "Dirty Jerz" sounds, and the turnpike does have a certain rotten egg kind of odor to it. Anyhoo, we stayed at an adorable little B&B only a block from the beach. It was absolutely perfect! Well, it would have been if most of the other people staying there weren't horren!

There was this one middle-aged couple who were there celebrating their 1-year anniversary. He couldn't stop smoking, and she couldn't stop nagging him about it.

This other bitch kept trying to place specific food orders to the sweet little lady bringing us our breakfast, which doesn't sound like much, except it's a bed and breakfast! They cook a meal, and you eat it. If you don't like it, go to a restaurant! This isn't the Four Seasons bitch!

The worst of the bunch were these twin girls who had the deepest, scratchiest voices ever and kept ending up everywhere we went! We saw them out at dinner our first night there, and we were making fun of them b/c they were flirting w/ the [obviously married] maitre d'. They even asked him if they could keep his pen b/c they liked the way it wrote. What?!? Turns out they were staying at the same place we were. Ugh! It was torturous. They couldn't stop yapping about boys and being dirty about it! They would talk loudly so that everyone couldn't help but overhear. This one guy at another table said he needed [golf] balls, and one of them goes, "you don't have any balls?!" Good one. How old are you, 8?

Shoot. Me. Please.