Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Drinking Smoked Meat

I don't know about you, but the thought of drinking meat makes me naush. That was pretty much the case when Richard and I went to The Modern and asked the bartender which beer he recommends. His recommendation: Schlenkerla Rauchbier, which means "smokebeer," from Germany. It definitely tasted smoked. It definitely tasted nasty. We attempted to wipe our tongues clean w/ our hands, napkins, anything w/in reach and decided it was the nastiest thing we'd ever tasted. It tasted like meat. Not even a specific meat. Just smoked meat. Any meat. Yuck.

So we ordered some Brooklyn Light Ale, straight outta NY, which was more our pint of beer (cup of tea, get it?), but the smoke was still stuck in our mouths and on our tongues and in our noses so even those were ruined.


I do NOT recommend.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I Didn't Steal It!

I took this Thursday off from work (work gave us Friday), so I'm using the days to finish up a few last minute holiday chores (2 more gifts to buy, wrap gifts, pack, load the car, clean the apt., etc.).

But last night it was discovered that my new ski jacket still has the security tag attached to it! This means that if I don't go (on one of my days off!!!) back to the store to get it removed, every ski shop I go into over my ski vacation next week will think I stole it! I don't even know if I have the receipt. What if I get to Princeton Ski Shop, and they think I stole it? Ugh!


They are, btw, is my new fave ski shop ever! Everyone was so nice and helpful, not like most sales people in NYC! They even told us when we bought our ski equipment that everything would be going on sale in a week so to bring the receipt back the following week to get all the sale prices! How amazing is that!? The only thing they didn't do...take the effing tag off my jacket. Hopefully they take it off for me...


One of my days off is ruined all b/c of this little friggin' tag. Maybe I'm just being lazy. Actually, it kinda looks like a pregnancy test, doesn't it? Ha! Not that I would know. That's not a hint. I'm not knocked up. Promise.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Stop!

I met JB out the other night for a long overdue love fest. We started out at Social for a friend's going-away party before heading over to VYNL (no, the bend and snap waiter wasn't there) for some much-needed drinks and convo...

So I got to Social and waited for him on the corner when I heard this obnoxious person honking the hell out of his horn (well obv it was his horn, what else would you honk the hell out of? Don't answer that). Turns out, there was an old man and his wife trying to cross the street when the sign said "don't walk." And b/c the sign said "don't walk," this man decided to hold up his hand to tell the car to STOP! Ummm...this is New York City. Red means stop, green means go and yellow means go like hell. And that's it. Cars are NOT going to wait for pedestrians to cross just b/c their hand is up, buddy. Well, not w/o a fight at least. The battle between vehicle and pedestrian always amuses me though - especially when profanity, the bird and other dirty hand gestures are used.

As soon as JB gets there, I tell him that I have tomorrow's bitchfest subject. So I tell him. And what do you think he says? "Oh, I do that all the time." For some reason, it's ok w/me that he does it b/c he's Beej.

Lesson of the day (except if you're name is JB/Beej/whatever I decide to call him that day), when there is a "don't walk" sign, don't effin' walk! Run!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

That Sex Show

Coming back from lunch yesterday w/ 4 of my girlfriends, a guy on the subway told us that he was just visiting NY this week (yeah right buddy, you have the thickest NY accent ever, but whatev) and that we reminded him of the ladies in "that sex show."

Umm...I hope he meant Sex and the City.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sorry Williams-Sonoma

I decided to stop in a Williams-Sonoma last night to do a bit of holiday shopping. I only have 2 more gifts to buy, and one of them is for one of 'boyfriend's' family members, so it has to be good. We draw names out of a hat (with a $35 max), and I got his aunt. I figured I could get her something nice in Williams-Sonoma for that amount.

Usually I just go in for the free treats, so I stopped in the front of the store for some delicious warm apple cider to enjoy while I shopped. I started shopping, sipping my cider and enjoying the warmth in my belly. Ahh, I love the holidays. Upon finishing my cider and still finding nothing for "aunt," I made my way to the back of the store where they were serving pumpkin spice cake treats. The smell just sucked me in.

I then proceeded to the other side of the store where I found some beautiful bakewear and mixing bowls and other shiz I thought "aunt" would like. Unfortch the bolws I like (kinda like these, only not) were way the hell in storage so I had to wait while they walkie-talkied to the back. As I believe I've mentioned once or 80 times b/f, I have NO PATIENCE. Ten minutes later (it was prob only 5 but felt like 10), I'm still wandering around waiting for bowls. When the stock boy finally appears, he has the wrong. effin'. bowls. in his hands. Lack of patience clicks on "high," and I say, "oh, not a problem, I'll just keep looking around while you go get them," meanwhile I'm planning on sneaking out and leaving the damn bowls behind. So I slowly mosey over the other side of the store, peek up at the sales lady and notice that she's still looking at me. Damn it. Look away you silly sales lady, I'm trying to make a mad dash for the door! As soon as she turns away, I grab some more delicious apple cider and run for it.


I think "aunt" would like these better anyway, so I'll go back this weekend after they've forgotten my evil, sneaking-out-behind-their-backs face.



Monday, December 11, 2006

Boooooo

My little sis and bf were visiting from NH this weekend, and they wanted to see the tree at Rockefeller Center. 'Boyfriend' and I go every year anyway, so we figured who better to see it w/ than people we love and with who we want to share it? So we knew it was going to be crowded when we got there; after all it is the most famous Christmas tree in the world (I made that up, but it probably really is)! But it was so crowded, it took us about 10 minutes to even get to where we had a visual of the tree. Oh wait, that wasn't b/c it was crowded, that was because there was a tour stopped right before the entrance, and the tour guide was telling the group about the history behind it...blah, blah, blah (I'm sure it was interesting, but I was getting a little claustrophobic and needed to move asap). We finally realized that we had been pushing our way into the tour group when we saw the little old lady tour guide holding a gigantic candycane so her group didn't lose her. Hello, you are way too short for people to see you even w/ the huge candycane, so I was surprised she had any of her group left! So now that I've gotten way off the subject, let's get back to us getting into Rockefeller Center and looking at the tree all happy and smiley w/ warm holiday thoughts running through our minds...can't you just feel it? (sigh).

Little sis wants to take a picture of her and her bf w/ the tree in the background, but we were having trouble doing so w/o getting all the people in the background. So they decide to stand up on a bench. No sooner do they stand up there, a cop tells them to get down, and kimmyk decides to yell "boooooo!!!!" at the cop as if I was drunk at a baseball game! (It was only noon for eff's sake, and I hadn't had a drink all day! Not that that has stopped me before, but whatev). I have no clue what I was thinking! This was certainly NOT the holiday spirit I usually exude. As soon as I got the evil eye from the cop, I realized what a dumbass I was being. I got all nervous and thought I was going to get arrested, so I ran around the corner where cop couldn't see me. So now I have to put my big furry hood up so I'm not recognized and peek around the corner going "psssst" to my bf, sis and her bf. Of course they had no idea where I was, so I just kept "pssssting," until bf looked at me like I was from another planet, at which point I started waving frantically for them to come over. I couldn't go back to the scene of the crime!

Turned out the "cop" was just a "rent-a-cop" for the friggin' tree. Oh kim!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I Chipped My Nail

You know I'm having a blog brain block when I'm bitching about chipping my nail polish. But I can't help it. I did my nails last night w/ my new 2nd fave fall/winter color, Wicked by Essie, (first is Sole Mate), and I was soooo good about letting them dry perfectly, only to wake up to a chip (how, I do not know). Normally I can't sit still long enough to let them dry all the way, and I end up ruining at least one nail. And if I don't completely ruin one, I smudge them on something (doing dishes, washing/drying my hands, picking my nose (not really on that last one:)).

My friend Mike once told me I had alien hands, and this pic kinda proves it. Not sure if that's better than "man hands" or not...

Don't even get me started on the hangnail on my first finger.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Gordon Ramsay's NJ Diner @ The London











I was lucky enough to receive an invite from Richard to dinner at Gordon Ramsay (yes, the Hell's Kitchen guy, since that what people seem to know). His new restaurant opened up a few weeks ago in the London Hotel in Midtown. I was super-excited to get the invite and right away had to look at the menu online and find something to wear! Richard told me that the dress code is "smart," meaning no jeans and men must wear jackets. (Of course looking "smart" is now our new fun term. Sometimes it's "wicked smart," since we're both from New England). Anyhoo, we both wore black suits and looked wicked smart for our exclusive, expensivo dinner.

We were escorted into the "formal dining room" at 6:15 sharp (you have to walk past all the "casual dining room" peeps, and they look at you like you're amazing and famous, which we are. Dir). We sat in v. comfy chairs at a huge table with gorgeous place settings. The overall atmosphere was not my cup of tea, but it was amazing in its own way. Richard said it was "v. British." All I knew was that it wasn't what I expected. It took me a while to realize what I thought it reminded me of, and a little while later (after the alcohol makes kimmyk brutally honest), I told Richie I thought it looked like a NJ diner. There were mirrors everywhere and shiny things. All it needed was a few fake flowers in the middle of each table to put me into the Garden State mindset. OK, enough making fun...everything else was amaz!

We were waited on by a Brit who was cute and fun, and we loved her (even if only for her accent and black-rimmed glasses). She made fun of our pronunciation of "turbot," (we were pronouncing it "turbo," which we thought sounded more "smart," or French or something...). Our sommelier was a Mainer, which of course we loved, and he recommended a perfect wine for us (Whitcraft Winery- a 2001 Lagren). The entire staff was so attentive, and there were people for everything you could imagine: a bread boy, a drink chick, water peeps, waiters, servers, sommeliers, you name it! I think my water glass was only empty once, and that's b/c I was feeling a bit tipsy so I chugged it.

I'm not even going to get into the food b/c that's Richard's department, since he's the true "foodie." I will say that I loved everything, but my fave was the "Lobster ravioli, poached in its own bouillon with celery root cream, shellfish vinaigrette and chervil veloute," whatever the hell all that means:)

To hear about the experience (and the food!) in more detail, you can also read: Richard's Review

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Oh, God! Book II

So the other night I was trying to catch up on all my emails and friend's blogs since I've been so damn busy this past week (Turkey Day, etc). When I started out on the computer, Sixteen Candles was on TV (might be my all time fave movie). But after I'd been reading for about a 1/2 hour, I noticed a v. strange song come on. Sixteen Candles had been over for about 10 mins, and a new movie had started. It was a 1980 film called Oh, God! Book II (What? How the hell, I mean heck, did I start watching a religious flick)?

I decided to see what was going on, and it was a father and daughter eating in a Chinese restaurant. (OK good, a Chinese restaurant is my fave place talk about God, so I could relate).

The father says: "I met someone, honey" to a little girl who appears to be about 7-8 years old.

The little girl replies, "Does she have big boobs? Mom said she has big boobs. I wonder what kind I'll have." (Whoa! I don't think God would approve of this)!

Daddy chuckles, then says, "I'll be right back," and then goes to make a phonecall. (Way to handle the boob sitch, Daddy).

Little girl then opens up a fortune cookie which reads:
"Meet me in the lounge.
-God"

OK, at this point, I need to know what I'm watching. Obviously this movie is not what I originally thought. So I imdb'd it, and it turns out it's a comedy AND it's a trilogy! To think my night couldn't get any better than catching up on blogs!

I'm joking. I will never watch any of these movies.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Big Needle

I got a flu shot today, and my arm hurts. The needle was pretty big. I'm not even afraid of needles, but this one was def bigger than the last flu shot I remember (which was a few years ago). It looked like the picture below.
No joke, this is the picture that came up when I typed in "flu shot." Btw, similar to "wet butt," don't go typing in "big needle" while you're at work either...

Monday, November 27, 2006

I Have a Mullet. And I'm Ugly.

My little cousin (who shall remain nameless since I am scared of her) is 6 years old. I think. Maybe 7. All I know is that she is smarter than me. And meaner than me. Most of the time, she's cute and fun and loves me and is so all over me that I can't even eat my dinner or talk to other people b/c she won't let me.

HOWEVER...

This Thanksgiving, she decides to hate me. I went to give her a hug, and she turned away from me. When I said, "[Cousin], that wasn't v. nice." She replied. "You're ugly."

OK, now it's one thing if she said it just to me and quietly and maybe in a different room than the rest of the 30 family members who are all staring at me b/c I just walked in and they haven't seen me in months. But no. It's in front of everyone. No one is laughing, so that's at least good, but I'm still ridiculously embarassed!

I'm not ugly! Am I? That's A. And B., I am a little self-concious about this new haircut I got a few weeks ago. It's a little mullet-ish. I've been wearing my hair back almost every day b/c I have these bangs (that I actually love), but the rest of my hair is kinda long, but layered on the side, and it really is kind of a mullet. Anyhoo, so I decide to make a joke b/c that's what I do in embarassing situations, and I tell my entire family, "it must be my mullet" and then go on to explain haircut disaster.

First of all, I am from NH, and so are all my family members, and chances are at one point or another they have all had a mullet. So now I am the bitch from NY.

Oh, but it doesn't end there. Now that mean, scary cousin has heard me say mullet, she decides that this is the funniest thing ever, and that is what she's going to call me for the rest of Thanksgiving Day.

I'm going to get that bitch one day.

Friday, November 17, 2006

I Fell Off the Wagon

Guess how long I was off the animal crackers for? Well, let me tell you. One day. One. I am unbelievable. I was in the kitchen yesterday getting water, and a girl from work was in there looking for a snack. I don't even know her that well, and I was like, "oooh, go for the animal crackers. They're Amaz!"

First of all, why do I feel the need to talk to EVERYONE? And why about something like which snack they should pick? Why? Just shut up kim!

Anyhoo, she goes, "oooh, good idea." And she gets them. Well, then we walk out of the kitchen together, and she offers me one. So w/o even a hint of hesitation, I say sure! And I take it and pop it in my mouth.

OFF.THE.WAGON.IN.ONE.DAY. It was only one measly little animal cracker, but still. Why couldn't I have said no?

You know what this lead to right? Yup, I bought myself a bag today and at the whole thing. Maybe my New Year's Resolution should be to work on my willpower. Or maybe my it should just be to cut down on animal crackers, since that would be easier. Good thing I have a couple months to think about it. Friggin' animal crackers get me every time. They're haunting me.

Look what happened to Nick Nolte when he fell off the wagon. Not pretty.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The First Step is Admitting I Have a Problem

I'm off the animal crackers and have moved on to hard candy - runts (I have a jar of them at my desk), lollipops (gum or tootsie), hotballs, jolly ranchers, mints, lifesavers...whatever I find lying around. Wait, don't crack addicts use hard candy to help them quit??? Anyhoo...

The animal crackers were causing too many problems!

A. DEC bit his tongue and bled all over his client.
B. A bag of them magically appeared on my desk, and the person who put them there caused me to obsess about a possible secret admirer for days after (turns out it was just Ted. Thx Ted).
C. A fellow kimmyk told me I might need to get some help, possibly even a 12-step program (funny that she wrote about twizzlers today...great minds...great kimmyk minds???).
D. At any time throughout the day I was in the kitchen and saw them looking back at me from the vending machine, I felt the need to buy them then and there b/f they ran out. Even if I'd just had a meal. Even if it was 8:30 in the morning.

You get the gist.

I just thought you should know. I might need your help and support during this troubling time. Thank you all. You are wonderful, amazing friends, and I am very fortunate to have you in my life.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dial 911 Damnit!

I saw an old man fall down in the park today, so I ran over to help him b/c he went down quite hard. There was kind of a lot of blood dripping from his chin, so kimmyk went into panic mode!

kimmyk: "Who has a phone?!?!" (I was going for my run, so I was sans phone)
innocent bystander: "I do, should I dial 911?"
kimmyk: "Yes damnit!"
old man who hit his chin: "I'm fine, it's just a little cut. No need to panic young lady. Don't be silly."

I guess he told me! Pfff!

But I did my good deed for the day, didn't I? So don't expect anything else.

It's a Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my fave man ever! Except my dad, but he doesn't read this, so I'm in the clear. And Richard, who reads this every day so I'm not in the clear w/ him and will hear it either in my comments or on Friday when we hang out next.

Happy Birthday 'Boyfriend!' You're hot.

I had this picture saved in my files as "hottie_in_maine," so I thought it was only fitting that I posted this one.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Sag-Ass

I bought a pair of black dress pants from The Gap about a month ago (no, not my skinny jeans). I've only worn them a few times, but they are already stretched out to the point that I can't even wear them! So yesterday I had a work thing that I had to be early for, so I got dressed quickly w/o even thinking that the pants were a bit saggy (b/c they had just been washed and weren't all that stretched out yet), and dashed off to work.

As I was leaving the conference room during lunchtime, after having been sitting all morning, I realized that my pants were a bit baggy, especially in the butt. Like really saggy, actually. I even noticed a girl looking at my butt, and I was like oh shiz, it must look really bad! Well, that was the last straw.

I had to go back to the meeting for the rest of the day, and all I wanted to do was go buy myself a new pair of pants! I would've just left after work and gone home at 5:30, but we were having a cocktail hour after work (actually a cocktail 4 hours, but who's counting) so I couldn't go out w/ sag-ass!!! As soon as I had the chance I went out and bought myself a hot pair of black pants, changed into them, and went to cocktail 4 hours feeling much more comforbale (and kinda hot if I do say so myself).

So maybe I was a little rash in just going out and buying a new pair of pants after the day was almost over, but oh well. I guess having sag-ass was better than having swamp-ass!

For the record, I do not recommend searching for a picture of a "wet butt" while at work. Someone might think you're a bit pervy.

Setting the Britney Pre-Nup Straight

I said the other day that FedEx will receive something like $10mil according to their pre-nup. I was wrong...VERY wrong! This is what he gets (as reported by US Weekly via Best Week Ever). Poor guy. hehe! haha! hoho!


- K-Fed won’t touch a penny of Britney’s money. All the millions belonging to Britney will stay that way.

- The mansion will be divided 50/50.

- Any gift given worth over $10,000 will go back to the original purchaser. This includes a custom-built motorcycle Brit gave K-Fed for Christmas 2 years ago.

- She will still support him for a little while longer. Brit will pay Kevin $30,000 a month for the period of time that is half the length of their marriage. Meaning he’ll be well sneakered until at least a year from now.

- Spears won’t pay child support. Federline is still responsible for supporting his other two children with previous baby momma Shar Jackson. Luckily, Britney should be able to put food on the table for at least another 200,000 more years.

Oh yeah, and Brit told K-Fed that she was divorcing him OVER TEXT MESSAGE! I love it! This could not get any better! Here's the video from Much Music.


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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Kick Him While He's Down!

Did you read this review of K-Fed's Webster Hall show (if you can even call it a show) on the Superficial?

Enjoy!

(Kevin Federline reportedly begged to keep his New York gig at Webster Hall despite only 300 people showing up to the 1,500 capacity club. And as if that weren't sad enough, he was scheduled to go on at 7pm but there were so few people he waited for three hours in hopes more fans would appear. A bartender there says:

"They were going to cancel this concert, but he begged them to keep it on," a Webster Hall bartender told Star. "He had to fight with them to keep this concert. He was holding things up because there weren't enough fans. It was a bad idea - he shouldn't have neglected the fans who were there." Federline's performance has been described as "mercifully short." Britney Spears's hubby only rapped for about half an hour and, reports one eyewitness, "seemed really confused about how to act on stage. He would pace from one side of the stage to the other, just saying things like, 'Hey' thirty times in a row or 'New York, thank you for coming - buy my CD.'"

I am shocked - shocked I say - that Kevin Federline isn't the thrilling performer he claims to be. When I see this guy asleep on his lawn with a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a Playboy in the other I think to myself: "This is a performer. This is a man with the charisma and talent to go all the way." So when I hear reports that his performance may have been any less than spectacular I am shocked. Shocked. )





Ew. Just look at him. Or don't, if it makes you naush.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Halle-effing-luiah Britney!

























I am so proud of you girl! You really had me worried there for the last couple years, and now you're coming back! You looked AMAZING on Letterman last night (see video below), and now you've filed for divorce, from that loser, money-hungry little weasel of a husband. Oh K-Fed, I have to hand it to you though...don't you get something crazy like $10 mil? Good work buddy...too bad your album TANKED! Woooooo! I will NOT miss seeing you in the headlines, that's for sure. Unless it's stating how your life has fallen apart, Brit won't let you see your kids, and you're drinking your sorrows away...

GO BRIT BRIT!!!
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Better Pic of the Bday Boy has Been Requested...

I've been told by 2 of my friends that my hot boyfriend looks gay in the birthday pic that I posted of him (Beej), and that there is a different caption that should've been chosen for said pic (Richard).

I disagree, BUT I will post another pic that does not put my man in mid-blow.
You're lucky I love you guys;)


This is a cute one. Even though who knows what the hell I am doing. It's not about me right now anyway...I guess...