10 Things I Love About Moi

So as I said yesterday, I've been tagged by Kimmyk.

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I like to match my undies to my clothes, even though I’m usually the only one who sees them (sorry kimmyk, thongs only...i hate the lines)

2. I am a germ-a-phobe/hypochondriac - I only touch doorknobs at my own and a few select family/friends’ houses (I use my arm or shoulder through revolving doors, a papertowel or sleeve for other doors, especially bathrooms)

3. I have to have my nails painted at all times b/c if I don’t, I’ll file, pick, cut or bite them down to the nub whenever I get the chance

4. I am afraid of chopping off my toes in a revolving door

5. I constantly play w/ my hair, and since about 100 strands fall out per day on average, I’m not satisfied until they all come out in my hand

6. When I talk to myself it's usually in a Southern or British accent

7. I am convinced I have a “good side” and refuse to take a pic unless I’m standing to the left

8. I get extremely nervous, anxious and sweaty before I go somewhere there’s going to be a lot of people (this includes the cafeteria, movie theatre, department stores, bars, etc.), but I always calm down after I’ve been there a little while (or after the first drink)

9. I’ve had my myspace on private b/c I’m paranoid that a psycho killer will find me and stalk me, but I’ve decided to make it public...until I get nervous again...

10. I pride myself on being a bitch, but I’m really not all that bitchy (most of the time)

5 people I'm tagging, but only b/c you're the only people I know w/ blogs...
Richard
Beej
DEC
Jules
Rob

I've Been Tagged!

I've never been tagged by a blogger before. That other Kimmy K is so sneaky.

Basically, I have to think of 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about myself and post them on my blog. Then I have to tag 6 more people to do this. I don't even know if I know 6 bloggers. I'll have to choose a couple at random. Fun fun!

So stay tuned...when I have some time later today or tomorrow, I'll divulge my deepest and darkest (yeah right).

Lata bitches.

Memories, All Alone in the Moonlight...

Going to VYNL today w/ some peeps from work, and all I can think about are the times JB and I had there. He's in Thailand right now, and even though he's only been gone a few weeks I miss him more than I miss "My So Called Life" and "90210." That's a lot. Ahh, the memories...
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Illegal Pissing

Last night I caught my cabbie taking a piss in a bottle while driving me home. I heard his pants unzip and then that sound. You know, the liquid sound...like a bubbling brook, only inside a cab. And it wasn't water, but piss.

AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! Is that illegal? I mean, it's HIS cab!

The funny thing is, I thought I'd be the type of person who would start yelling at him or something. If someone asked me before yesterday (b/c it's certainly a valid question) if I would say something to my cab driver if I caught him pissing in a bottle while driving me home, I would've said, YES OF COURSE I would say something to him!

But when my moment came, I just sat there with a disgusted look on my face. As it is, New Yorkers put a lot of trust in their cab drivers. We get into cars w/ total strangers and just expect them to drive us where we tell them. I don't need to give them a reason to kidnap me!

I mean, at least he had the windows down.




That's not me. Although some people tell me I look Asian.

Yoga Split

So you know how I've been taking yoga? Well I have. About 2-3 times a week for the past 4 or 5 months. Maybe longer...I have no idea. Point is, I have never been flexible. Like, not at all. So yoga has really helped me w/ this. However, most people are able to do things w/ their bodies after a couple months of yoga that I am not even close to. Example: a split. So that's my goal, to be able to do one, both ways. I've been stretching almost every day, getting closer and closer to the ground (quite proud of myself, I might add).

Today after my run, I decided to get some stretching in and work more on achieving this goal. Since I am extremely impatient (I think you all know this about me), I pushed myself too far, and now I have pulled a muscle. Do you know what that means? It means that now I have to wait a few days to attempt my split again! I've set myself back days!

I just want to do a friggin' split. Even my mom can still do one from back in her cheerleading days! Heeee, my mom was a cheerleader. Why is this funny? B/c I am a big jock and never liked cheerleaders. Maybe if I was one, I would be able to do an effing split!

Lady in the Fur Coat

Couldn't get a cab outside the bar last night, so uncle ry and I being the most brilliant people on earth (and not drunk at all), decided to walk a few avenues east to see if we'd have better luck (which turned into about 42 avenues). It wasn't cold or windy out at all, so it was really fun (that's sarcasm people).

Somewhere around Madison Ave, we were still trying to hail a cab. There was an older couple all dressed up standing near us, and the lady had on a big ole fur coat. Now I'm not sure if I wanted to touch it or if the gentle bump into her was purely accidental, but the look she gave me was EVIL!

I said I was sorry, bitch!


For some reason, this picture came up when I googled images of "bitch in a fur coat." hahahha

Happy VD!

So Immature

My immaturity is always revealed at the worst possible times. I was in a training session the other day, and the trainer guy kept using the word "probe" during his presentation. Of course, I whisper, "he said probe," and start giggling, which leads to a few giggles around me. Later in the training, as I'm starting to get bored, I decide to liven thing up a bit by writing "LOOK" w/ an arrow pointing down on the outside of a napkin, then writing "probe" on the inside and passing it around. How rude and obnoxious am I?!?! The poor guy giving his presentation probably thought we were laughing at him! Awww.

No Smoking!

I know it's cold out people, but smoking in the atm-only bank while waiting for the bus is disgusting, not to mention illegal. I went to take money out the other morning, and this old lady was blocking my way of getting through the door. So of course I gave her an obnoxious "excuse me." She moved ever so slightly to let me by.

As I was standing at the atm, I hear the flick, flick, flicker of a lighter, then almost immediately smell smoke. Ummm, are you kidding?! Did you really just light up in a 10 x 10 room?!?! It's a bank!

On my way out b/c I couldn't think of anything better to say (it was the morning, and my bitchiness wasn't in full effect yet, so cut me some effing slack), I said, "you are killing me w/ that thing lady. I hope you get a huge fine!" To which she replied, "oh really?" all sarcastic and bitchy. Grrr.

I quit smoking about 6 months ago, and since then, yes I feel entitled to yell at people when their smoke gets in my face and yes I do think I am better than you, bitch.

(A small sorry to my smoker friends: I still love you even though you smell).

Stinky Shoes

I met Richard down at his place last night to walk little Fran Drescher before we went to DEC's gallery opening. (Wow, lots of links in that one)! Fun time as usual...we mingled, we drank wine, we eyed the art. Then we went to the after party at our usual place of worship for some pints. I left after just a couple since I hadn't even planned on going to the after party (my arm was almost twisted out of its socket). You'd think the night would've ended there, but NOOOOOOO, I hailed a cab w/ an old, dirty, smelly pair of shoes just sitting right on the seat. At least I didn't have to ride home alone...

ANNA NICOLE IS DEAD!??!

I can't believe Anna Nicole is dead!!! As crazy as she was, I never expected her to just collapse in a hotel room and die! It must've been drugs right? They said she was hospitalized for pneumonia for a week back in November, but I'm thinking that has nothing to do with it.
















What's more surprising than her death, is that every person I know e-mailed, called, IM'd and shouted it from the rooftops all at the same time. It was as if it was announced inside people's brains simultaneously! Long live the internet!

You know what? Poor Anna fought so long and hard for the old man's money, and now she won't even get to enjoy it. Sad. V. sad. I'll betcha Howard K. Stern is wishing that crazy marriage-on-a-boat ceremony was real! Or maybe it was... Can you say motive?

Remembering Anna Nicole

Only Time Will Tell

I think my semi-new watch is broken. The battery isn't dead b/c the second hand is moving a little bit but staying in the same place. This watch was a gift for my birthday back in July, so it's not THAT old, and it's kind of a nice one! I'm going to write to Michele and tell her that my beautiful watch is a big piece of poo!

Maybe 'boyfriend' bought it on the street and didn't tell me. Hmmm...

JOKE!

Spencer Bratt

Is anyone besides me watching The Hills on MTV? Well, I can't get enough of it even though it's cheesey and petty and bitchy. The drama just sucks me in.


I've been finding myself yelling at the television these past few weeks though, usually aimed towards Heidi, Lauren's (she doesn't want to be called LC anymore) BFF and roomie b/c her boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, is such a dirtbag! He's unfaithful and manipulative, and everything that comes out of his mouth is so obviously fake! It just makes me scream that Heidi is falling for it!

In last night's episode, however, Heidi has finally caught him in the act, and it doesn't hurt that Audrina has proof of his cheating, lying ways! Ugh, I want him off the show. He bugs me. Not sure if that's going to happen though b/c in the previews for next week, it shows Heidi on the phone w/ Spence saying, "I need at least a week away from you." A week!? Oh Heidi, how about a lifetime?!

Here is Spencer's myspace page, which makes me want to barf. Feel free to write mean things to him. Ha!





Ew! Doesn't he just look like a creep?

Pretty Footed Girls Wanted

This ad from craigslist was sent to me by my good friend Jay Jay this morning. He must think I have damn pretty feet. He's right.

Pretty Footed Girls Wanted For Foot Videos -- $100 (Midtown)

Reply to: mailto:job-271474092@craigslist.org?subject=Pretty%20Footed%20Girls%20Wanted%20For%20Foot%20Videos%20--%20$100%20(Midtown)
Date: 2007-01-31, 6:27PM EST

Hi Girls! We are an upscale foot fetish video company that is seeking attractive girls between the ages of 18 - 30 that would like to make money doing foot fetish videos. No nudity required, and no sex. The pay is $100 per shoot. We have very regular work available so you can make some excellent money. We do ask that aside from being attractive and having pretty feet, that you are proffesional, puntual and reliable. Our best employees make thousands per month. If interested, please reply with the following 3 things.
1. Your Name
2. Your Number
3. A Photo
We will call you if interested.
Talk to you soon!

Compensation: $100 per shoot
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.Posting ID: 271474092

I'm not sure if I should've shared this with all of you. Now I'll have some competition!

Foot Phobe Feelin' Fine

I'll bet you're all wondering how my feet are now that I've finally gone to the foot doc. Turns out, I have been in denial for a couple years and I do in fact have bunions. Greaaaaaat. The doctor wasn't scary at all though, and he barely touched my feet. Must've been the smell.

Some X-rays were taken, and I don't need surgery b/c they're not THAT bad...yet. BUT, in order to prevent them from getting worse, I have to get orthodics. OMG, now I am a big foot nerd. But that's the price I'll have to pay for no more foot pain! Oh yeah, along w/ almost $500 b/c insurance doesn't cover them.

INSURANCE BITCHES!

Foot Fear

I've always had a fear of hurting my feet. Stubbing them, getting them caught in something, breaking a toe, having one of my toenails or toes fall off, you know, normal feet fears (for me anyway)! Really though, I am VERY cautious of my feet at all times. Especially when I'm wearing flip flops and walking through revolving doors. I always think my pinky toes are not going to make it through w/ the rest of my body. Is that weird?

I think it started when I realized that I have much bonier and higher-arched feet than most people. My mom has the same feet, so it was always normal to me. Then people started asking me if I knew that I had bunions. Umm...NO, I absolutely do NOT have bunions, I just have bony feet, so shut the eff up. See "Heat Rash" for pix of my feet and you be the bunion judge. (For the record, 'Boyfriend' and Richard both hate feet, especially MINE)!

However, my feet have been bothering me for quite some time now (like a couple years). I think it's b/c I walk everywhere in the city and don't always wear sneakers. Flip flops is my fave thing to walk in, but those will kill high arches like mine. My feet have definitely flattened out since I've moved to NYC. My arches hurt every day, especially when I wake up. And when 'boyfriend' rubs my feet (yes, I am a v. lucky girl), sometimes it hurts.

I made foot doctor appointment for tomorrow morning, and I'm scared shitless. What if I do have bunions and effed up arches and need surgery! My foot fear will be at its all-time WORST! I'm flipping out a little.

Stay tuned...

The Sugar Drawer

I'm in an extra bitchy mood today b/c not only am I ridiculously tired and hungover, but the rash on my face is still there and it doesn't look any better. I can't wait to go to the salon later and show them and make them give me free shit.

On a new note, my bitchiness is affecting my day in many ways. Just a little while ago I got pissed off at the sugar drawer at work b/c all the packets are out of order, not to mention the kitchen is a mess. Your mother doesn't live here people...clean up your own shit.

Ok, so the sugar drawer thing is just my OCD kicking in, but this is not the first day that I've found myself organizing the sugar drawer. There are sections for a reason!





Look at this mess!

Frozen Boogies

Since I was little whenever it was cold out, my dad would say, "is it cold enough to freeze your boogies?" He's so cute.

Today is one of those days. It was 9 degrees out when I left my apt. to walk crosstown for 35 mins. My "boogies" were frozen in a matter of seconds in case you were wondering, Dad, and my legs were numb after about 10 mins.

The rest of me was nice and toasty though. See?

Ding Ding Ding!

I'm sure you're sick of hearing about the line on my face, but it has finally occurred to me that it's not a sleep line. I think it's a rash from the effing $45 scam, I mean shine, treatment!!!

It was only supposed to be left on for 7 mins, and I know this b/c the hairwasher bitch said to Yoni (hehe, the stylist's name was Yoni (vulva puppet anyone?)), "it's only supposed to stay on for 7 mins right?" And Yoni said yes dear in his little Greek? Swedish? accent.

So after sitting there for about 5 mins w/ the treatment on, Yoni decides to move me over under a hairdryer, and he says, "here, now you will be warm." So I'm thinking, why the hell do I have to be warm for the last 2 mins? Do I look cold? Turns out it slows it down or something, but whatev...

Hairwasher bitch then starts washing someone else's hair (who turns out to be a woman who works there). Umm...hello, it's been over 7 mins, and my scalp is starting to burn a little bit, and you're washing a co-worker's hair? Hmm...what is wrong w/ this picture?

I started fuming after about 15 minutes b/c my scalp is burning and the shiz is dripping down the side of my face. I should've just gotten up and gone bitchfest on their asses, but I waited patiently. Yoni finally looked over at me after about 25 mins, so I tapped my wrist (w/ no watch), so he knew I was ready to be rinsed. Like now.

Hairwasher bitch rinses, Yoni cuts, I go home w/ an itchy scalp (but v. shiny hair).

Fast-fwd to this morning, past the 2 "sleeping line" blogs, to about a 1/2 hour ago when I realize that sleeping line is not just a line, but is now blotchy and spreading down the left side of my face. Oh yeah, it's a full-blown rash and I have 2 parties to attend tonight. Guess I will be going all rashy.

I called Yoni, told him what happened. He told me I must be allergic to the treatment. I'm not allergic to anything, but fine, I'm allergic, and you left it on my burning scalp and dripping down my face for for 25 mins. He said, "first, I am sorry, second, what can I do to make you happy?" Well, well, now we're getting somewhere. Free haircuts for the rest of my life? Ok, fine, I'll settle for a free cut and blowdry, which he agreed to.

Being rashy and bitchy kinda paid off! Good thing bars are dark:(

It's Still There...

WTF? Maybe I scratched myself???